Carmen wrote an essay in June of 2015, detailing her experiences in scientology. I’ve read lots of reports and seen interviews with many people over the years, but very few had the courage to admit what Carmen did – that she knew scientology was ‘wrong’ right from the beginning.

Carmen writes –

I got a horrible feeling in my stomach that first day at the Celebrity Centre.

…When I think back, I believe a part of me knew if I didn’t accept Scientology the marriage would be over before it even started.


Usually, the essays, reports, and interviews that I have seen all either claim they were brainwashed, manipulated, conned or similiar into doing whatever they did in scientology – with the obvious connotation of that they didn’t KNOW it was wrong.

I have never believed that kind of thinking, and I’ll tell you why. Because the person is still trying to say that its possible to put the reigns of control over their thoughts and decisions in someone else’s hands and to not know or have no control over doing so.

That’s a lie, and will never be anything but a lie.

Carmen didn’t do that, and I think that was incredibly brave of her. She doesn’t try to lay the blame for her actions and decisions at the feet of L Ron Hubbard, and that was incredibly refreshing to see.

It’s not that Hubbard doesn’t have any responsibility for what he and his accolytes do, of course he does, and loads of it. But, the plain and simple truth is that he (and scientology) would be nowhere without agreement from individuals.


nowhere without a map island see.

Carmen came under a lot of the same Fair Game actions that my husband and I have been subjected to – some really high-level, not your average run-of-the-mill type things.

She writes –

There was more. Vicious rumors were being spread about things I had said only while in session, which I was made to believe were private. Some rumors I knew could only come from certain people, like Jason. I got followed all the time. People in public would loudly discuss a conversation I had just had in private, word for word. Similar things occurred on social media.

Scientologists have no boundaries and their cruelties exclude no one. From my experience, Fair Game’s main tool is mind games. They’re very good at it and they play with your emotions. I’ve found they skirt the law and use methods like electronic surveillance and cell phones to monitor a person’s every word and every move.


Strangely, Carmen has been ridiculed and ostracized by not only the scientologists in the Church, but also by the ones that are supposedly out of the Church!

Up to and including even supposed critics of scientology, some of which have apparently gone a little crazy with their tin-foil button about what she said above…you know the types.

Tin Foil button (2)



Now there’s a question, and any possible answers aren’t looking too good for any supposed disparity between any of those groups. They are strangely aligned when it comes to her – and that ain’t a good sign at all.

What all this vicious and ridiculous behavior towards Carmen does mean, I would hazard to guess, is that she seems to be pretty damn scary to some of these people. I say, good!


Big thumbs up to Carmen for not ‘fitting in’ with people like that.

thumbs up.

Virg sig script

Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. HOLY SHIT!!! THANK YOU. I AM ALIVE!!!!!!! Thank you. I just woke up & im still reading this. It’s so good, I can’t get past the first few chapters without wanting to tell you. I appreciate you writing this. You helped me so much. Thank you. Carmen

    Sent from my iPhone


    • Chapters? My post about you is short so I’m curious – are you also reading my husband’s book Scientology Roots here at the blog, Carmen?

      And…you’re very welcome re: this post of mine, you deserve it. You’re a brave, brave woman to stand up to what you have. – Virginia

  2. Thanks for your meticulous research and clear writing.
    Carry on!

  3. Sorry Virginia, not chapter, like chapters in a book, although I want to read your husbands book & plan on it. In this case, I’d just woken up (literally & figuratively) & it made me so happy to see what you’d written. Thank you again.


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All that Spy Stuff